Alternative statistics definitions

Term	Her Definition
Regression to the mean	showing your true nasty side after the first few months of our relationship
marginalisation	not talking to me on the drive back after saying you were a chubby child at your friends dinner party
integration	making your friends laugh by saying that you were a chubby child at their dinner party
infinity	how long it felt you didn't talk to me after saying you were a chubby child at your friends dinner party
confidence interval	that brief period in a relationship when you think that it going to work out
data	what you think is someone who goes on a lot of dates
singularity	the exact moment of being dumped (LAST)
outlier	being made to sleep on the couch (after saying you were a chubby child at your friend dinner party)
	owning up to how many pints I actually had down the pub
standard deviation	an acceptable amount of bed room experimentation
normal	not me- you think we've grown apart. You want to break-up…

A Statistician's Love Poem

Oh my dearest one, you are truley an outlier!
Your beauty falls outside of the 95% confidence interval,
such that you are significantly different from an average looking girl.
My perception of your good looks is not down to just random noise,
if you were to wear different clothes or wear less make up I would still think the same,
accounting for the measurement error due to me wearing glasses I would still maintain this conclusion.
Oh truely I reject the null hypothesis.
The posterior distribution of your beauty on fixed support is negatively skewed,
such that your median beauty is greater than your mean beauty.
Given 100 other girls I would probably choose you at least 95 times.
In conclusion, I think you're fit.